I've decided

I hate Fish.

Not the kind you eat, I already hated those in general; but I refer to tropical fish. Those indifferent, expensive, scaly little things that live in aquariums and have such a fragile hold on their own lives.

I kept my mouth shut as Jimbo, Harry and Psydra discussed 'sacrificing' whatever-they-were and 'bacteria beds' etc... Should I be lucky enough to visit your homes I will genuinely and wholeheartedly admire their beauty and appreciate the work that it takes to maintain them. And I hope they give you great enjoyment for many years.

But I hate 'em.

My first fish tank was a 10 gallon tank of guppies in the family bath room. I don't think anyone ever cleaned the thing... I remember it being a really impressive shade of dark green and peering into the murky depths for a glimpse of the alleged Guppies. One day I came home and it wasn't there. It probably took me a week to notice, for all the ripple it caused in the surface of my life.

Some years later, my Mother came to me and said "The other kids had a fish tank; it's only fair that you have one too." My mother said this a lot; and I don't know but why I never questioned it. The 'other kids' are my three sisters and brother that are significantly older than me, and I worshiped them. Didn't matter if it was the Music club that I knew was a rip-off, the fuzzy-wuzzy soap; if my Mother said 'It's Only Fair', something in me assumed there must be something Cool about it, or a 'rite of passage' involved or... I don't know what; but I don't think I ever argued once. If it was good enough for them, I figured it was something I had to do, even if I thought it was dumb. Silly me.

That fish tank was uneventful; I chose some swordtails, tiger barbs and some other fish because I thought they were pretty. I took care of the tank because I could never own a pet I didn't take care of, and eventually had a tank of only tiger barbs because that's how tiger barbs like it. I don't even remember if they still had that tank when I left home; but it was gone the first time I came to visit, and I couldn't have cared less.

But the reason I HATE tropical fish, is because of Today.

I took my daughter and her friend to the local 'Octoberfest' celebration. Everyone had a great time, but the highlight of the day for both of them was winning a goldfish at the beta sigma phi wheel-of-fortune.. I wouldn't have even let them try but I'm in a chapter of Beta Sigma Phi and I felt obligated to support my sisters' fund-raising efforts. My fervent prayers that they wouldn't win weren't answered, and I almost felt badly about the prayers when the girls were SO delighted at winning the slippery little things. They were duly named, bonded with and proclaimed to have amazing attributes that one would never expect to see in a Goldfish.

So, we stopped at Petsmart on the way home, bought bowls, rocks, food- you know. I brought some spring water up to temperature and they were soon in their new homes... 'enthroned' even. My daughter's friend's Mom was called at work and my daughter's Uncle, since her father wasn't home-- The precious things were fed, (too much) gushed over, would have been played with if I didn't stop them in time.

Well, you can guess what happened. My daughters fish died just after bath time. We'd almost suspected it since she'd put her hand in there to 'pet it' and the water got noticably cloudy. She cried, and cried, and extracted a promise from me to get another one the Very Next Day. The other fish was fairly energetic; I felt confident she'd see the morning light.

I was wrong. My daughter's friend asked me so many times to watch her fish that as soon as I turned off the light in her room, I checked on it-- and it was not moving.. No gill movement, nothing. I made sure, and then rather than do the EASY thing and wait until morning, I broke the news. It was late, and I'm a bit stupid sometimes.

WOW, if my daughters response was bad, her friend's was 10 times worse. She sobbed, called her mother, sobbed again, called her mother again and sobbed some more. I don't know if I'm buying TWO fish tomorrow or not, but the tank's clean and I've got water sitting out. I think the whole wonderful day at Octoberfest is going to be remembered as the day their fish died.

I LOVE being a parent; some times more than others.

But I HATE goldfish.