Release 1.17

My fears were realized as soon as I arrived at the comm closet. Eugene wasslumped, motionless, in the far corner. I sprinted over to him, then pausedwhen I realized I had no idea what to do. Should I call company security? Should I perform CPR on him? Should I hope he was just stealing a quick nap?

I realized I was clueless, but the overwhelming urge to do somethingtook over before I had time to make a rational decision. Eugene was lying in afetal position, his face turned toward the wall. From where I was standing, it wasimpossible for me to tell if he was still breathing. I kneeled down, and turned his head toward me, placing my hand in front of his face to feel for anything resembling a warm puff.

"What dost thou think thou art doing?" The voice came from somewhere inside my own head, but for the sake of clarity I'll attribute it to a small angelic creature perched on my left shoulder.

"I'm feeling for breath," I replied hesitantly.

"Hello? Kubota?" It was at about this point that I realized the creaturewas wearing a Boy Scout uniform with a slit cut in the back, from whichemerged a pair of white, feathered wings. "What if he hath a back or neckinjury? Art thou trying to kill him?"

Another little creature, this one wearing a leather jacket and sportinga pointed tail, popped into existance on my right shoulder. "Cutthe guy a break, wilt thou?" The devilish imp tapped a cloven hoof indisapproval. "He's under a lot of pressure here." The demon lit up a LuckyStrike, and turned to face me. He took a quick drag, and blew the smoke toward his cherubic twin. "Dost though believe this dweeb?"

The one with the wings puffed out his chest. "Hush up, thou. Hast thouforgotten that our Biff did once earn a merit badge in First Aid? Rememberthine training, dear Biff, and this young man shalt be just fine."

I turned to my left. "But, ummm...?"

"Mel. The name's Mel," the angel told me.

"Thanks, Mel. The thing is, that was a long time ago. And, frankly, I spenta lot more time learning how to start fires and stuff than I did learningfirst aid. I only got that badge because the Scoutmaster told me he'd let mehave it if I promised to stop booby-trapping our campsites."

"Oh, man, those were good times, weren't they, sport?" It was the demonagain. "And don't forget that time all the guys got together for thatrecon raid on the Camp Wildflower showers. Now that was something to remember!"

"Keep thine tail in thy pants," the angel admonished. "Thou dost seem toforget that there was a rather large patch of poison oak near those showers,and it was only Biff's expert knowledge of emergency medical procedures thatsaved him and his comrades from enduring an unbearable itch."

The little demon doubled over with laughter. "Oh, your God! I almost forgotabout that. Dost thou remember the specifics of those 'emergency medicalprocedures?' If those boys hadn't stolen a twelve-pack of beer from thecounselor's tent before they went on that raid, they never would have hadenough..."

"Hrrrmmmph." As Eugene's eyes fluttered open, the angel and the demonstuck their tongues at each other, then vanished in two small puffs of smoke.