What is with the depression thing?

Other than being perpetually tired from having class/work/class from 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. two days a week, or class starting 8:30 a.m. (bad idea! bad, bad!) for 3 1/2 hours and then work, life is not bad per se. No big homework piles to do yet, no particular guy-chasing-me problems (phew), actually went out twice this week.

Why aren't I over things already?

Have spent most of the week debating whether or not I want to go to the ex's b-day party and watch him chase chicks. Apparently there are three prospects he's inviting to the party (though from what he's said at least two out of three don't sound very interested), and all the ex-girlfriends/"friends" he's invited to the party have said "Er, I don't want to watch you make out with them." Everyone but me so far has emphatically decided not to go. And they don't even love him, for crying out loud...

I've had reservations about this from the beginning (i.e. going back to the house I haven't been to since dumpage, where I used to get to be party hostess and now am just another random person who has to go home before the end of the night), and finding out that Hot Lips is dying to chase women and doesn't particularly understand why everyone else doesn't want to watch it doesn't help the decision in his favor anyway. Yet I get mushy when he says that I'm important to him. And shoot, it is his birthday, and if I'm going to be his "friend" it's not nice to bail. Especially when I er, said I'd try to deal with whatever comes down the pike re: his getting new girlfriends. And those parties were cool, and who wants to be the only one in town sitting home feeling crappy while everyone else can go because they never dated him in the first place?

I suppose I should just suck it up and decide to go. Or as one of the "striking" exes put it (she encouraged him to throw the party, cleaned his whole house for the party, and now isn't going, if you can believe that- said I should go and check out her cleaning job), "you never pass up an opportunity to see him anyway."