Problem 4: Don't Be True To Your Feelings.

"Doing what you want to do is not always in your best interest. On a job interview, you don't act 'like yourself' ... In the long run, it's not fun to break The Rules! You could easily wind up alone."

"The writers admonish readers that anything short of slavish devotion to their guidelines will result in total failure and heartbreak." -Carina Chocano

Here's a nice bit on denying what you want to do. Doesn't it sound fun? This is on the dilemma of the guy actually being spontaneous...

"Even if you weren't doing anything, even if you were truly bored out of your mind when he knocked on the door, say you're busy if you want him to respect you in the long run."

Ouch. Kinda makes you sound like the town slut or something, in a way. "You let him in, that makes you easy!"
And this part just seems kinda sad to me...

"Your e-mails should be brief, polite, not erotic or mushy -- even if his messages are, and even if he asks you to share your innermost feelings."

Shoot, I find that flattering...plus it means that they want to get to know you better, which you'd think they'd take as a good sign. But noooooooo.

(If a man asks where this is going) "Any man that insists you answer these questions on a first date is annoying and probably doesn't like you."

Excuse me? Sounds like the dead opposite! They'd obviously not care if they didn't like you.
While "don't be all over him" is apparent good advice, I think they're taking it to an extreme.

"Let's say that now, hopefully, you've held out for a while and are ready to have sex with him. What Rules should you follow in bed? First and foremost, stay emotionally cool no matter how hot the sex gets. Okay, wait a minute. Now we're talking serious game playing here. I can't think of any man who would actually find this intriguing." -Brenda Ross

Okay, while their purpose is for the woman to not get involved much, I don't quite think they can pull that off when it gets this far. Who really has sex like an automaton?

"Some people believe they can be sexual with someone and keep all emotional intimacy out of it. That is rarely true for most women in our culture. Even if it is for some of you, sex has subtle ways of changing a relationship. No matter how detached and unemotional you have remained, being naked with someone and exploring each other's bodies can't help but make you feel more vulnerable and connected to him." -Barry L. Duncan and Joseph W. Rock

Problem 5: Do Whatever The Man Says:
Sounds like with the Rules Girls, the man is king and gets to make every decision, with no equal voice on the woman's side even when she's "closed the deal." This is advice to a married Rules Girl who apparently is not allowed to ask for what she wants.

"This is a case of "Be easy to live with, let your husband take the lead." If he wants to spend the holidays with his parents and not alone with you, go along with it. It's selfish to want to spend the holidays alone with him if he wants to be with his parents. If you force him to be with you alone, he'll resent it and you won't have a good time. Any alone time should come from him anyway. That's how it is in a Rules relationship."

"Its rules for married couples are quite irritating, it practically teaches us to be doormats to men! It your husband is not happy, it is all your fault because you did not do the rules on him." -A reader from Singapore

The more I read the more I feel like Snow White lying in the coffin waiting for the man to give her what she wants, with no power of her own. Ugh.

Problem 6: Any Problems in the Relationship Are YOUR Fault, Rule-Breaker!

"We're not being judgmental," -Ellen Fein

Here's some downright blame-throwing from the Rules Girls:

"Something is wrong with this relationship, but without knowing how you met and what rules you broke, it's hard to say why."

What, the guy doesn't have any responsibility here as to that? I thought it was supposed to take two.
And this is the one that makes me sickest of all:

"Or have you broken so many rules that he fell out of love with you?"

Do I really want a man who only loves me conditionally because he can't have very much of me? Who doesn't love the real me, but some "mysterious creature?" F--- that.

"I think that the rules have been written, very if not, too strictly and I am sure there is a reason for that. Women like myself are determined not to let men hurt them and the advice is good on the whole but we must admit that it is IMPOSSIBLE to follow the rules perfectly 100%. The advice is very useful but I must admit that I cannot agree with it totally." -A reader from London

Next week: Male reactions to The Rules, featuring YOUR favorite Elgonquinites!