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Imagine for me, Life under the surface of a pond. Little wiggly creatures doing what wiggly creatures do... Having wiggly creature fun, eating wiggly creature food, doing the things that wiggly creatures think are wonderful. Having days of wiggly creature joy that make it easy to believe that being a wiggly creature is surely the best existence there could be. The one mystery in the life of the wiggly creatures is this: after a certain amount of time, each wiggly creature develops an insatiable desire to go to the surface, where the light comes from. And when they give into the desire, which they always do eventually, they go to the surface and NEVER COME BACK. Each thinks, "I will never go to the surface-- why should anyone want to go to the surface, when all the fun is here?" Yet, eventually, they all do. Some promise to return and tell the others what's up there, but they never, ever do. One wiggly creature feels that, should He feel compelled to go to the surface, he Will, no matter What the circumstances-- return to his mates and tell the tale. "Nothing," he fervently declares, "will keep ME from returning!" The day comes when the wiggly creature feels pulled to the surface. He goes, reminding his sad colleagues that unlike the others, HE Will Return... Yet, when he arrives and the sunny air touches his skin for the first time, his wiggly creature's body bursts open. But instead of death, he finds all that he is climbing OUT of his skin to stand, gossamer winged and glorious, on the surface of the pond, considering a world that he never could have imagined. Before he takes flight on the wings that he instinctively knows will propel him through this world as well as his wiggly creature body guided him through the pond, he looks down at the water. He realizes then that this body is incapable of returning to his mates.. In spite of his great desire, he is incapable, as were all the ones that reached the surface before him, of returning to fulfill his promise, and so he flies off. (btw, I can't take credit for that story, I originally heard it in a sermon. Thank you, Pastor Kanouse.) This, then, is my surely flawed and probably entomologically incorrect way of describing how I picture death and the afterlife. Don't ask me what Heaven will be like, I don't know; other than the vaguest descriptions: "no tears, no pain, no sorrow". I don't particularly cherish the idea of "sitting on a cloud playing a harp" any more than anyone else. Rather, I believe deep in my heart that all I am that makes me worth loving will live on, and Heaven will be as unimaginably wonderful to the new creature I will become as this world is to the creature I now am. And That's where my loved ones are Now. I've thought about this a lot lately, because while you know about my Father in law and Grandmother in law passing on, just last night I found out that one of my Beta Sigma Phi sorority sisters died from complications in back surgery. A blood clot formed and traveled to her lungs. This was the most stunning blow; for it was totally unexpected. Don't get me wrong... I am not in despair.. while 3 deaths in 10 days is a bit scary, I know that there are many, many ways in which it could have been worse. I haven't lost a spouse, a sibling or a child-- the main relationships that make up the foundation of my emotional stability are still intact and I am extremely grateful for that. But I did sincerely love these people, and it has made for a very black couple of weeks. I really appreciate having you all around to listen to me, having a place to explain the reason that I know I do not mourn these loved ones' deaths, I only mourn the fact that I will not be able to share their lives anymore. And, also share the reason that I always smile now when I see a dragonfly. Hugz Songbyrd |
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