Release 1.28

Does anyone remember where I left off? Funny how your memory can get so screwed up from a little bump on the head.

If I remember correctly, Anabella and I had just had a chance encounter with a group of Luddites, not long after having to flee in terror from computers that seemed hell-bent on assimilating the entire human race, or at least all the employees of Automated Software Solutions.

I paused a moment to consider the possibilities.

"You said you were looking for a good time, Warren?" I asked the hulking barbarian of a man I had just come very close to running over. "Well, it must be your lucky day, big guy. How would you like to smash up several million dollars worth of computer equipment?"

His eyes lit up like he was a teenager who'd just found Dad's porn stash. "You're kidding, right?"

Anabella was starting to smile, too; she obviously saw where I was going with this, and actually seemed to like the idea. "I'm not kidding you at all, my large scary friend. We know just the place."

Warren looked at me dubiously. "There's a catch, right? Are you a cop or something?"

"No," I assured him, "I'm a network engineer, just like I said. You're right, though; there is a catch I should let you know about. Those machines are going to try to suck out your brain and make you a puppet to their wishes, completely unable to think for yourself. They're pure evil."

Warren laughed. "Well, duh. They always do that! Let's go!"

With that, we prepared to reenter the jaws of doom that were my place of employment. I took a quick glance at the rear-view mirror to make sure Warren and the rest of his bicycle-riding contingent were following. I took a headcount, and it appeared there were a bit over twenty of us all together. Would it be enough? Was I about to send two dozen people to their deaths? Would I lose my job over this?

There was only one way to find out. I pointed the car toward the Automated Software Solutions complex, let out the manliest war cry I could muster, and stepped on the gas. Fortunately for the bike-riding posse trying to follow us, I'd blown a tire in the earlier near-collision, and they had little problem keeping up as we bumped noisily onward toward our collective destiny.