Hello. Happy New Year. And all that.

Here's what's up.

Going Home:

The week in Miami was relaxing and uneventful. Lots and lots of family, including the all-new family that my dad married into last summer. I also saw O.J. Simpson eating a bagel at a restaurant in Kendall.

Woman Situation:

I've got something happening with a cute geek chick ("Cheryl") in the city, something blisteringly intense that is making me uncomfortable. We spent about 48 hours together over New Years, and while I had a great time, I wonder if it was well-advised. She's great in a lot of ways, but things have been moving so fast, that I've already put the brakes on things, telling her I won't see her until the weekend.

So last weekend, after three dates with Cheryl, another woman ("Janet") asked me out, and we had coffee. I had a really interesting time talking with her, but she was a unbelievably accurate composite of my last two girlfriends, Cecilia and Laurel, enough that I laughed every time I've thought about it since. I seriously could run off a list of a dozen qualities she shared with the exes, from big ones (facial resemblance) to the medium ones (from a particular Midwestern state) to the disturbingly non-trivial trivial ones (make, model and year of her car).

But having coffee with Janet was a little bit troubling for another reason. I've never dated more than one woman at a time, and I'm not sure if it's the right thing to do. So I'm not doing it. Really. I feel good about this decision.

The hypothetical question this situation begged is: Can you cheat on someone you've only known for two weeks? Yeah, nothing too profound…sounds like a sit-com episode theme.

Okay, basta.

Fear:

I'm gonna try my first ever snow sport next week: snowboarding. No, I've never been skiing or done anything remotely downhill besides inner-tube sledding on modest hills. First task: buying lots of stuff. Oy.

Sports:

Ever since my Dolphins got their annual dramatic wild-card playoff victory last weekend, I've been trying to get info on how to attend their visit to Oakland this weekend. But phone calls to the Oakland Football Marketing Association were fruitless.

So I drove down to the Oakland Coliseum (a.k.a. Network Associates Coliseum) yesterday morning to try to find out what was happening with Raiders playoff tickets. I walked into a near-riot of scary-looking Raiders fans, upset that playoff tickets were only available to those who owned Personal Seat Licenses in the stadium. All that you've heard about Raiders fans is true. They are terrifying.

I'll just watch the game on TV, which is probably better for my personal safety. Besides, the Raiders are gonna kick some Dolphin ass - do dolphins have asses? - if the last two years are any indication. Can you believe the Sea Mammals have lost their last two divisional playoff games by a combined 100-10? Oy.