Well, anyway, I went to the family dentist. I say the family dentist because this man has been cleaning everyone's teeth but mine. And has for many years. But, he was never on my dental plan, so that was reason enough not to go. But a couple of months ago, my Mom and my sisters all yelled at me to "Go see Dr. R!" "Make an appointment right now!" My Mom said. So, I called and left a message with his answering machine saying that my entire family won't let me go anywhere else to get my teeth cleaned, so can I please get an appointment with Dr. R? The receptionist called me back, laughing, and we set the date. That was over a month ago, the man is just THAT booked! So, my appointment was for today (Monday) at 7:00 AM. Yes, I know that's AWFULLY early to be going to the dentist, but it was the best I could do.

I get there and had to fill out all the new patient information. When I went to turn in the clipboard, Dr. R took it saying that I took at least 2 minutes longer than ANY other Clack to fill it out. I said, "I like to check my work, make sure there are no mistakes." He looked at me and said, "Everyone else did, too. They were just quicker!" I began to think I'd made a big mistake! Who needed this kind of sass first thing in the morning?! Well, it got better, or worse, depending on how you look at it, from there. Next, he wouldn't let me in because I hadn't brought the breakfast. Like I knew! I had to stick my foot in the door to keep him from closing it! He said that EVERYONE else in the family brought food, what was wrong with me? I looked at him and said, "Nu-uh! My Mom didn't bring it once and SHE got in trouble, too!" He said, "That was just the one time! What can you cook?" I said, "I can bake a pie!" He said, "What kind of pie?" I said, "Apple, peach - I make them with fresh fruit, you know!" He laughed and said, "She's got skills! You know I wouldn't eat your sister Dana's cooking!" I started cracking up! Then, he said, "I know about Carla trying to burn down the house, so I wouldn't eat HER cooking, either!" And, he laughed. I said, "You know WAY too much about our family!" Dr. R said, "Yes, I do. I know all about you, too. The wayward sister who has never met me until today." Good lord, I thought, I'm in REAL trouble here. And, Dr. R is simply WAY too happy first thing in the morning, and I told him so. My Mom later told me that he's ALWAYS like that!

When they finished with the X-rays, Dr. R started looking at my teeth, and as they were opening the sterile instruments, I asked for some anesthesia. They laughed, and then started cleaning. I was serious! I figured it was going to hurt like Hades!

I REALLY hate that high pitch noise that those sonic cleaners make. This was one of those ultra-high intensity water- pik thingies. I was surprised, but the pain wasn't very bad at all. However, Dr. R did comment that he'd like to introduce me to the concept of flossing. That was when I told him that I do floss, it's just been about 5-6 years since I've had my teeth cleaned. Well. Needless to say, Dr. R was apalled! I was somewhat used to being hollered at by that time, so I took it all in stride. Then, I told him that of course the smart thing to do is to visit the dentist twice a year. Of course this logic amazed him and he even mentioned how smart I really am, but he was baffled since I certainly don't abide by that logic whatsoever. I had no real recourse for that so I just kept quiet.

Soon, the torture was finished, and I was doing a fluoride rinse, and then I was ready to leave.

On my way out, Dr. R said that I owe him some money because of course since he's been seeing the rest of the family for SO long, I have some catching up to do. I told him that apparently he'd be getting some of my money since I have to come back next week and get a cavity filled. Then, after that, I need to get that extra wisdom tooth removed, a tooth Dr. R called "a little retarded tooth". LOL! And, then I want to get my teeth whitened, and after that, we'll start working on replacing those ancient fillings. I swear the man did a little happy dance.

Oh, and one more thing... since it was April First, he and his staff decided to call one of their patients and play a trick. C called a woman and with a straight face told her that Dr. R had been in a car wreck. She came back in chuckling while Dr. R was cleaning, and says, "Well, Dr. R, you're in Medical City suffering from broken legs, broken ribs, and you're not expected to make it." He just started cracking up. They finally decide to call this woman back and tell her, "April FOOL'S!" The woman was very good-natured and laughed. Between guffaws, she told them all she really hated them, too. It was pretty funny. But, the man is just evil. He does love to have his fun.

And, it seems that he can be bribed with food, so I'll have to bring in that apple pie next week. If I don't, I'm sure I'll hear all about it!

-Kim